Life, death and ego

He was in that dark place, that plagued his life. Feeling like he was drowning, though he and his efforts at living were futile. He spent long periods with these demons, wrestling with depression and self loathing. Living on his own allowed this to occur and so he spent lots of time out with friends; partying and trying to enjoy life. When he was up he was very definitely up, so opposite from these dark moments. He was a tall good looking guy, in good shape, helped by visits to the gym. He had blonde hair with a side parting held in place with hair gel but shaved around the ears and into the back of his neck. He was stylish in dress and clean cut. Nobody knew of his dark moods. They all saw him as a great guy, life of the party.

As he sat pondering he felt himself letting go of the present moment, drifting into dreams as he laid back on his sofa. He felt as though he was drifting into sleep. As this was happening he heard a noise at the door. He knew it was locked so decided to ignore it. As He continued to drift he was startled suddenly by a figure standing over him. It was a man, tall and thin, grey hair and a soft kind face. He must have been in his early sixties, yet had no wrinkles or lines of aging. ‘How did you get in?’ he said to the man illuminated by the lamplight. ‘Does that matter? I am here merely to help.’ Retorted the man in a smoothbut eloquent voice. He continued to hold the young man’s gauge. ‘You are William Rhodes are you not?’ ‘Will, that’s what everyone calls me and yes. How do you know this?’ Will spoke while sitting up. The older man turned and walked around to the front of the sofa. ‘I am Eziquel.’ He stayed this as though it was obvious and beyond contention. ‘Is that meant to mean something to me.’ Will spoke then paused before adding ‘you don’t strike me as an Eziquel.’ The man say on the coffee table in front of the sofa which allowed him to keep eye contact. Eziquel smiled, ‘no I guess not. These thoughts you have been having trouble me though. You’re in your late twenties, a whole life in front of you. You enjoy parties and being around people. Why then do you feel these dark moods?’ Eziquel’ s eyes seemed to look deep in to his, Will thought, as If he were reaching into his soul. Will explained his reasons and how the darkness felt. Eziquel listened intently and sympathetically. ‘There are worse things than death? Death is not the end, just a transcendence of being. A chance to travel a different path. Most of the problems we suffer from are ego based and a need for instant gratification in all areas and aspects of life. There is nothing to fear in death. Living is far more scary. You want out then just do it. There is no say you will find redemption in death though. Nor in life. Redemption can only be found within you. You have to learn to forgive yourself, learn to let go of things and stop expecting so much from Life or thinking you should be better tan you are. You are what you are. Accept that or get out of being who you are.’ Though Eziquel spoke softly there was a passion about what he said and utter belief. ‘What is it you want?’ Eziquel asked as if he already knew. Will thought for a moment, ‘I need out but is that me being weak? Is that the cowards way out?’ Will held Eziquel’ S gaze firmly. ‘It is just what it is. Life is suffering. If you feel you can suffer no longer then being honest and doing something about it could be seen as a brave act. I can’t judge you or guide you. I can only be hear with and for you.’ The older man had an aura of real empathy about him. He stood up. ‘Will follow me.’ Eziquel’s sift words were like a command that he felt compelled to obey. Eziquel led him to the bedroom. Will stood in the doorway, his knees buckled, he gripped the door frame. ‘What?’ Words were lost. Eziquel put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. ‘You did this earlier. You hanged yourself from the closet door. In that moment a light went out. Your light. That’s why I am here.’ Eziquel looked at Will, saw the tears in his eyes, rolling down his cheeks. ‘It’s over Will, the suffering, the pain and the darkness. Time to move on. Let me take you now.’ Will took a deep breath, looked at the older man, ‘so you are? And where will you take me?’ ‘I am your Guardian Angel, I am here to take you home. Back to where all things originate. The realm of energy and spirits. The realm of light.’ Will knew in his bones Eziquel was speaking truth and nodded accent. With that Eziquel’s hand flowed light and they both transcended into energy and light then an immense flash if light saw them disappear. Will was sadly missed by all, who found his suicide beyond understanding.

Image courtesy of Esoteric Empyre.

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