I ask myself who I am?
Am I the person I think I am?
No, I know I act differently at work
To fit in with others
And I think it hurts
That I can’t be me authentically
Because I hear people talk about others like me
In terms I would call deformationally
Ridiculing what they say and think and believe
And I feel a traitor for hiding my true self intentionally
But I don’t need them to know or accept me
I do not need their perceptions or judgement over me
Or to find myself getting involved with them confrontationally
So I reveal my true self to those closest to me
But it’s hard work putting on a false front daily
So maybe I should stop and be me authentically and truthfully
But the domestication that resides within me
Has taught me to fear exposing myself because somehow I crave
To not stand out but blend in seamlessly
And I feel the disappointment I have for myself emotionally.