Each day I die a little more
What does the future have in store?
This daily drudge of monotony
That at the moment has captured me
In a vice like grip and won’t let me go
Won’t allow self expression
Or for me to grow
Trapped in a prison of doubting self
Trapped in a state of no wealth
That restricts it seems all I do
Or want to achieve and push on through
Maybe I am delusional
Kidding myself I can do much more
Than I can actually be
That I should lower my expectations significantly.
Life seems to spiral down this way
On certain days when not in a positive way
Minde set in a negative frame
I lack at times the literary refrain
To get the feeling fully across
How at times I get lost
And that darkness has started drifting in
To much pressure to much stressing
Over work, home and family
I am beginning to lose self belief
Desperation and depressive thought creep in
Infect my very being.
They pollute any mindful state
Make meditative practices dissipate
As my body is full of energetic tension
Mind is screaming is this another lesson
For if life is truly testing me
Then it is close to breaking me
Pushing me to close to the edge
Making me feel so worthless
As if there’s very little I can do
In all honest truth.
It’s a pitiful story of which to burden you.
Life goes on and so will I
Trudging and wading through this hard life
Looking for any sign of light
Right up to the point of my demise.