fauxcroft

Each day I die a little more

What does the future have in store?

This daily drudge of monotony

That at the moment has captured me

In a vice like grip and won’t let me go

Won’t allow self expression

Or for me to grow

Trapped in a prison of doubting self

Trapped in a state of no wealth

That restricts it seems all I do

Or want to achieve and push on through

Maybe I am delusional

Kidding myself I can do much more

Than I can actually be

That I should lower my expectations significantly.

Life seems to spiral down this way

On certain days when not in a positive way

Minde set in a negative frame

I lack at times the literary refrain

To get the feeling fully across

How at times I get lost

And that darkness has started drifting in

To much pressure to much stressing

Over work, home and family

I am beginning to lose self belief

Desperation and depressive thought creep in

Infect my very being.

They pollute any mindful state

Make meditative practices dissipate

As my body is full of energetic tension

Mind is screaming is this another lesson

For if life is truly testing me

Then it is close to breaking me

Pushing me to close to the edge

Making me feel so worthless

As if there’s very little I can do

In all honest truth.

It’s a pitiful story of which to burden you.

Life goes on and so will I

Trudging and wading through this hard life

Looking for any sign of light

Right up to the point of my demise.